Nightmarish Hopes
Can a dream really come true?
Even now as I write this I can feel it pulling me in.

But is it true?

Is it really a dream that pulls me? Or is it the claws of a false hope, the false fantasy played over and over in my mind pulling me under like poison in my blood. A poison which ruins all my chances and hope of ever living my dream.


Who knows....
.......All I know....
..is this feeling....


It feels like I've stopped drifting inside. As if I've found new hope in a breath of fresh air.
And with my hope comes a new kind of peace and happiness. A serenity. A joy unlike all other joys.
A smile so easily graces my lips just in the thought of it all... and in this feeling I am dreaming a reality so real..........
I begin to doubt it's possibilities and then, things change.

I start thinking, doubting this dream. Surely it's just that, a dream, despite how sure I am. How hard I try.
My doubt leads to my pondering of my own sanity in believing in such trivial things.
The doubt starts to bring pain, tears, and frustration at my own confusion.
This confusion.. such a chaotic confusion of words and assumptions, all wrapping their little fingers around my mind.
Pushing, pulling, even clawing! It all gives me such a headache, leaving trails of scars in my brain.. whispering doubts...
those fingers and hands will leave, but they leave me again in more doubt, more distrust, and less belief in myself.
the dreams continue to fade....


And yet even as i feel the claws rip through
i know what is true
between this strange reality, this dream,
this sweet nothing, this headache of sin,
this nightmarish hope,
and i hear my heart sing
and i know what is true
and i couldn't ever deny it...